How IDVAs are helping survivors of domestic abuse

“If you’re experiencing abuse, it is okay to speak out. Disclosing what is going on doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it, but by speaking to us, we can give you the tools to do something about it if you want to.”

Jade Dunkley is Harbour’s Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA) team leader – the charity works with families and individuals across County Durham and Darlington who are affected by abuse from a partner, former partner, or family member.

She oversees a team of ten IDVAs who work to support victims and survivors of domestic abuse, helping them navigate the criminal justice process if they have reported an offence to police, providing non-judgemental support, and being there for them when they need to get things off their chest.

They can also liaise with other agencies if victims need things like legal advice, and can help with attending appointments for mental health issues or substance misuse.

Having joined the charity in 2019, Jade has helped more than 450 people who have experienced abuse, and knows just how difficult it can be for a survivor to speak up and tell someone what has happened.

“If you’re experiencing abuse, it can be a really hard thing to talk about. Especially if you are in an abusive relationship and you love this person,” she says.

“Many abuse victims say things like: “If I wasn’t drinking or if my mental health was better, then he wouldn’t have done what he did” and shoulder the responsibility for their abuser’s actions. They are not the ones in the wrong – their abuser is.  

“A lot of people also don’t realise that they are the victim of abuse, especially when it comes to sexual abuse. We find a lot of people who are in a relationship see sexual abuse as “it is just what I am meant to do” when it comes to things like groping, touching without consent, taking intimate pictures, or forcing their partner to do things sexually that they are not comfortable with.”

Through their work at Harbour, Jade and her team of IDVAs work hard to educate people on what constitutes abuse and empower them to break free from an abusive relationship. They’ll take the time to really get to know the victim so they can provide them with bespoke support. 

Most of the people the IDVA team work with have been referred to them by police, but people can also self-refer if they do not want police involvement.

If an offence has been reported, the IDVAs provide support throughout ongoing police investigation, keeping them updated, acting as an advocate when needed, and providing emotional and practical help if the case goes to court.

“The joy of the IDVA role is that we usually meet people immediately after they report the offence to police and then we stay with them throughout the investigation, right through to the hearing if it goes to court,” says Jade.

“I had one lady who first came to me when she had a six-month-old baby. By the end of my involvement in the case, he was one-and-a-half and he knew who I was.

“The most rewarding thing is helping someone, seeing the weight being lifted off their shoulders, helping them to rebuild their life and come out stronger.

“Lots of people we work with end up coming back to us as volunteers – they see the difference we have made to their lives and they want to help others to do the same. It really is so rewarding.”

Her advice to someone who is suffering abuse, whether that is physical, sexual, or emotional, is talk to someone.

“It is really important to have non-judgemental support from people who aren’t going to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do,” she says.

“If you come to us, whether you are referred by the police or come to us directly, we will help you navigate the confusing and conflicting emotions you might be feeling, and provide you with practical support so you can start to make a life for yourself that is free from abuse.

“Please remember that you are not at fault, you are not to blame, and you are not alone.”

If you’ve been raped, sexually assaulted, or are suffering domestic abuse, tell us.

We believe you.

Call Durham Constabulary on 101 or 999 in an emergency, or report online at www.durham.police.uk/ro/report/rsa/alpha-v1/v1/rape-sexual-assault-other-sexual-offences/

Harbour offers a wide range of support services for those experiencing domestic abuse. Contact them directly on 03000 20 25 25 or visit www.myharbour.org.uk