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Below are some methods of control that perpatrators of domestic abuse may use to control or manipulate their victims:

  • Wanting to be together all the time
  • Controlling how you look (i.e. clothes, hair, makeup)
  • Excessive compliments and gifts
  • Bombarding you with texts, phone calls and social media messages
  • Control your finances
  • Aggressively breaking things/slamming doors
  • Underplaying the violence they inflict on you
  • Silencing you when you try to talk
  • Isolating you from friends and family
  • Being uncontactable for long periods of time
  • Insulting you, often passing it off as a ‘joke’
  • Changing personalities when there is an audience
  • Moving the relationship at a very quick pace
  • Dismissive of your feelings
  • Making promises to change, but failing to do so

Further help and advice:

Harbour is an independent charity that offers support for people suffering from abuse at the hands of their partner, former partner, or other family member.
03000 20 25 25 (phone line open 24 hours)

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